Happiness is a Trap

Society believe that the most important thing about life is to be happy.

I agree.

Then i notice something bias, 

The fact that we think the lottery winner can be much happier, due to our tendency to overrate both intensity and the duration of happiness that we'll experience when we get what we want.

I'm sure you had the experience, let say you got a promotion that you were desperate for or you finally buy a things you really want so badly. And when you finally got it, you spent a few weeks really happy with it, then it was just everyday drudgery, right?

Or there was a product that you needed, wether it was the iPhone, a car, designer makeup, premium shoes, etc. And the first of the couple weeks you want to touch it every single time, post it on social media perhaps, you felt good, it felt good. But after a while, it just started to blend in with the rest of the things in your life. Very common.

The things that we pursue take a lot of time and energy, but the happiness we get out of them is miniscule. This is the trap i try to avoid.

What i can tell you from my perspective is :

1. Stuff

When i was younger i want to wear makeup, then i learn makeup, i started to buy drugstore makeup, when i got the makeup, i wanted more expensive makeup, after that i wanted a designer makeup, and on and on and on. The truth is, the stuff is nice, these things made me happy. But none of them, no matter how much expensive designer makeup i had, hoarding excessive amount of those things, led to any sort of lasting happiness. Having them is nice, but cannot create lasting happiness.

The problem with stuff is that it's very easily corrupted. There's so much advertising on social media, i often will buy stuff to brand my self, to create an image i wanted to show you.

If I buying expensive things, well known brand, for the sole purpose of being perceived in certain ways by my peers, then I am in trouble. Because my happiness is dependent on the opinion of other people. That's lead me to unhappiness.

2. Experience

Nowadays, we want to see the world, we want go to fancy places all blogger and famous people rave about. For the sake of check in on your Path or take a pictures of it so that you can post it on social media as a proof you've been there. The experience is about branding yourself. This is when experience gone wrong.

Experience can be amazing, just like stuff. I love go to fancy cafe, have a cup of tea or coffee with my boyfriend. Talk about the interior, because I'm an interior designer and i have interest for interior in different places. I like go to IKEA, looking for home decoration or to accompany my clients, not for taking a picture on the 'fancy aisle'.

If you are focused on the experience simply for the instagram photo, that's a problem.

Hold on, i'm not trying to be bitter here. It just an explanation that sometimes i felt empty and confused.

I will still buying things, buy makeup buy clothes buy cute stuff buy this buy that, go to fancy places, for my own happiness. Not for how much likes i will get on social media.

Two point above is about the way you orient yourself, where do you place your action.

APPRECIATION

Oftentimes, we're trying to focused on what we don't have, and if you can shift your mindset simply from focusing on what i lack to what i have.

Even in the annoying moment, we're standing in line and it's 30 minutes to get out of the food stores, you can focus on the fact that you think "I'm already 30 minutes late and ain't nobody got time for that" or the fact that "I have food surrounding me from all parts of the world and i live better than Kings did 100 years ago because they couldn't get grapes". Ok that's hillarious. Think that "I'm part of 0.1% lucky people who have ever lived".

I know that there will be things that knock you down, things that suck, and others reason to be unhappy. But there's always a reason to appreciate what we already have.